Genesis 49 Wow. All I can say is that being the mom of 4 growing boys, I have sympathy for Jacob and his wives. All these boys, all these personalities, strengths, weaknesses, challenges and idiosyncracies. The last time I read this my boys would have been too young for me to empathize so deeply, but now I can find both humor and sympathy in abundance. Oh Lord grant us patience and wisdom and grace to raise young men than will honor and desire all that you desire for them.
1 Samuel 20. The ugly, festering disease of jealousy and bitterness that ate Saul alive. There is a root of this ugliness in me as well if I am honest. Nowhere near the point of hating someone or wanting someone dead, but just a real "you bug me so much I would just really like to knock you down a peg or two off your high horse" type mentality. Just having a really bad attitude towards the people in question and not wanting to not feel that way. Quite enjoying the feeling of judging them. This makes me sad that it is true, but it is true. I know that this is a root of sin that I have given a foothold in my life and so I confess it. Boyd Hopkins said that when you are not ready to let something go to ask God to make you willing. So I spent some time in prayer tonight asking God to make me truly repentant for these feelings, and truly desirous to be filled with His Holy Spirit. I have needed to confess and recieve deliverance in the area of this same relationship in the past, but old habits have sneaked back in and I find myself standing on familiar and not God honoring ground. The other people in question may have their weaknesses and faults, but that is not what this is about. If I was right with God then all would be right, no matter who they are or what they do. This is about my heart and my choosing to walk in the flesh or walk in deliverance.
Psalm 74. I completely disagreed with something in my Bible notes today. It talked about God's patience enduring for generations but at last being set aside for judgement. And how if we persist in sinning against him, don't be surprised when his patience runs out.
I totally disagree with this. I have this wonderful book called "The Daily Discipler" by Neil Anderson. He outlines all the main doctrines/teachings of the christian faith over the course of one year, 5 readings per week. One section in there outlines the personality of God and how God is 100% of the qualities that He says He is. 100% love, 100% merciful, 100% Just. What that means is that when He exercises justice is not because His patience has run out. It's because He is 100% just. There is a big difference.
I am not a patient person. This is a quality I really need to grow in.
"I knelt a long time, for I had much to offer up to God, and I placed before Him countless thoughts, so that He might winnow them like a thresher, leaving me the wheat and blowing away the chaff with the breath of His mercy."
from "I, Juan de Pareja"
This just totally resonated with me today, and was a reflection of my quiet time this morning. It warmed my heart like a cup of something steamy and delightful and just had to share.
blowing away the chaff with the breath of His mercy. *shivers*.
wow. not exactly uplifting reading... I think the part that spoke to me the most was;
"if racing against mere men makes you tired how will you race against horses? if you stumble adn fall on open ground what will you do in the thickets near the Jordan?"
this whole concept of being tested, learning discipline, being equipped for a race, a battle, for victory, however you want to look at it. How will we ever be prepared for the business of ruling the kingdom if we don't get stretched, tested, tried and prevail? In order to grow one must perforce experience growing pains. If we want to run with horses... animals of speed, might, glory... it's beautiful imagery.
Ezekiel 6. I am so glad for my bible notes that brings some "hope" to the darkness and doom pictured in this chapter. "A ray of light appears in this prophecy of darkness- God would spare a small group, a remnant, of people but only after they had learned some hard lessons. God sometimes has to a break a person in order to bring him or her to true repentance. The people needed to change their attitudes but they wouldn't until God broke their hearts with humiliation, pain, suffering and defeat. Does your heart long for God enough to change those areas displeasing him? Or will God have to break your heart?"
I've been there and I'm sure I'll be there again. In a place of blindness, stubborness, pride... totally not getting what humility and grace and a heart of surrender looks like. for all I know I am there right now to a certain degree. It is so hard to see the callousness and the delusion of our own hearts. Indeed the heart is deceitful above all things and the enemy knows how to put his oar in and stir up the muddy waters as well. Someone told me recently "if my being broken brings me closer to God, bring on the brokeness." Profound, frightening, inspiring truth.
Ezekiel 6: 8-10 “A ray of light appears in this prophecy of darkness – God would spare a small group – a remnant – of people, but only after they had learned some hard lessons. God sometimes has to break a person in order to bring him or her to true repentance. The people needed to change their attitudes, but only after they had learned some hard lessons. God sometimes has to break a person in order to bring him or her to true repentance. The people needed to change their attitudes, but they wouldn’t until God broke their hearts with humiliation, pain, suffering, and defeat. Does your heart long for God enough to change those areas displeasing him? Or will God have to break your heart?”
Matthew 14 One of the things that struck me was Jesus' quick response to the disciples. When they saw him walking on the water they were afraid, but he spoke to them "at once" (v.24). Peter asked to let him walk on water, and Jesus said "yes, come" (v.29), but when Peter faltered, Jesus "immediately reached out and grabbed him"(v.31) Another thing that struck me was the compassion he had on the people. He healed the sick (v.14) and fed them (v.16-21). "All who touched him were healed." (v.36)
matthew 15 notes "Seeking solitude was an important priority for Jesus. He made room in his busy schedule to be alone with the Father. Spending time with God in prayer nurtures a vital relationship with Him and equips us to meet life's challenges and struggles. Develop the discipline of spending some time alone with God. It will help you grow spiritually and become more and more like Christ."
Today is my day of solitude. My one saturday in four that I mark off on the calendar to retreat and find rest and peace in whatever ways I feel I need it. This morning that has meant sitting here in front of the window in the youth room with my bible and my coffee and time to reflect and listen and pray. This afternoon I will wander over to buy myself a bowl of wonton soup and then return to scrapbook or peruse my books or crash on the couch and watch a chick flick on my laptop. My word for 2012 came to me with force a month or so ago and there is no doubt that it is the quality I need to focus on pursuing in 2013.
Solitude. "Noun The state or situation of being alone: an uninhabited place. Synonyms privacy - seclusion - isolation
We are reading our way through the bible one chapter per day. The idea behind my personal reading plan is to read through books chronologically, but not solely one book at a time. Thus on Monday we read from the books of the law, Tuesday the books of kings and judges, Wednesday the books of Jewish History, Thursday Books of Wisdom, Friday the Prophets, Saturday the Gospels and Sunday the Epistles. The next Monday we pick up at the chapter we left off in ancient history. You may think that this would be disjointed and would cause you to "lose your groove" but I have found the contrary to be true, the threads of promise, redemption and grace show up more clearly as I make my way slowly through these books in a parrallel fashion and when I pick up where I left off a week before I am reminded of things that stood out to me from last week's reading. Journaling is a big part of my processing scripture and fixing particular tidbits in my mind for the purpose of life application. I would love to have you join me!
Basic Reading Plan
Mon (Law): Genesis-Joshua
Tues (Rulers): Judges-Chronicles
Wed (History): Ezra-Psalms
Thurs (Wisdom): Prov-Jer
Fri (Prophets): Lam-Malachi
Sat (Gospels): Matthew-Acts
Sun (Epistles) Romans-Revelation.
The theme I have given each section is general. Joshua is not a book of the law and Psalms is not a book of history. The main chunk of reading in each section is, however, suitably classified as the theme it is under. In order to make the sections even out to have the same general number of books/chapters, this was the closest I could come. Otherwise one would be reading through certain sections (like the Law) for instance, much more often than the wisdom books, etc.
(Fellowship is) an expression of both love and humility. [It] springs from a desire to bring benefit to others, coupled with a sense of personal weakness and need. It has a double motive – the wish to help, and to be helped; to edify, and to be edified. It has a double aim – to do, and to receive, good. It is a seeking by Christian people to know God better through sharing with each other what, individually, they have learned of Him already. J.I. Packer.
A few introductory words of encouragement....
Think of your time feeding on God's Word as a vital aspect of your health and wellness. You wouldn't go a week without brushing your teeth, or eating physical food, don't treat the nourishing of your soul by the Word of God with any less care.
Don't cram multiple chapters if you fall behind of plan, but *do* "back-read" if you have the passion and earnest desire to do so. My habit if I miss a chapter is usually to leave it until that book comes up again the next week (based on my own reading plan) and then read two consecutive chapters rather than the one I am scheduled to read.
Don't be legalistic about the when and how. If you don't get a quiet time in the morning, THAT'S OKAY. Find a moment in the afternoon to grab a drink, sit down and put your feet up, and soak up a chapter. And if that doesn't happen, THAT'S OKAY. Take 15-20 minutes at the end of the day to plump some pillows up in your bed and soak it up before you go to sleep. And if that doesn't happen, IT'S OKAY. Tomorrow is a new day. Don't let the enemy discourage you from spending time in the word TODAY because you didn't YESTERDAY. That's just dumb. Did you get that? DUMB.
If you don't have time to read, meditate. Allow God to bring a passage of scripture to mind and allow yourself to listen. Take time to be quiet in your spirit. While you are washing dishes, folding laundry, vacuuming... cleaning bathrooms.
Spruce things up. Get yourself a PRETTY journal and jot down little things that stand out to you. Use your favourite mug or a pretty glass to pour your favourite drink. Sit in your favourite spot (this could change from day to day and depending on the time of day you read. A sunny spot on the porch in the morning, a wing back chair and a blanket if it's chilly, a garden swing in the shade on a hot afternoon, or plumped up in bed with soft lamplight in the evening. Again, don't be legalistic about the location, pick a happy spot that fits the moment/opportunity.) Oh, and DON'T wait for the pretty journal. Plain lined notepaper or even a crumpled scrap paper will work just FINE until you get one....
Remember while you read, God's word is FOR YOU. yes, it was written to a particular audience in a particular time in history and for a particular reason. But it was also written with YOU in mind, TODAY in mind, and is designed to give you strength and wisdom for the journey.
Claim ONE part of the passage and take it to heart. Read through the chapter without too much introspection at first and see what part most stands out to you. Go back and look at that part more specifically and ask yourself what is in there for YOU?
Ask relevant questions. I usually look at a passage with 2 questions in mind. 1. What does this passage tell me about God's character? 2. What does this passage tell me about humanity (ie, ME, in relation to God? a final and very important question to ask is "What does this passage require of me on a practical level?" Write down one attitude, practice or truth you want you live out TODAY in light of what God has just revealed to you. This is how we take ownership of the Word of God and allow it to relate to us and shape us on a personal level.
Build yourself a monument. As I ponder a passages relevance to me I journal the thoughts that arise. Jotting them down somehow cements my convictions in my mind, almost like laying out stones in a monument so I can go back to that place later and be reminded. I also use those notes to come here and share my thoughts later with others.
Keep your actual quiet time concise. This will help make it more likely the habit will continue to happen on a regular basis. Better to spend 15 minutes in the word daily, than 1 hour once a week.
Don't require absolute "alone" and uninterrupted time (without kids around). If they are around, they can learn to not interrupt you for 15 minutes, just like you spend time with other people when they are around, you can spend time with the Lord with them around too.
Think of God’s Word as a love letter to you. When you read stories of God’s wrath in the Old Testament, think about WHAT love paid the price for all that wrath and how a hand that once smote anyone who dared touch the ark of His covenant now beckons YOU to draw near to the throne of grace. Read everything in light of who God is and how much He loves mankind that in spite of our being so deprived, His love story reaches out, encompasses us, washes us clean, and seeks to draw us near.
May you seek Him, may He be found by you, and may you be blessed on the journey.
9 comments:
Genesis 49 Wow. All I can say is that being the mom of 4 growing boys, I have sympathy for Jacob and his wives. All these boys, all these personalities, strengths, weaknesses, challenges and idiosyncracies. The last time I read this my boys would have been too young for me to empathize so deeply, but now I can find both humor and sympathy in abundance. Oh Lord grant us patience and wisdom and grace to raise young men than will honor and desire all that you desire for them.
1 Samuel 20. The ugly, festering disease of jealousy and bitterness that ate Saul alive. There is a root of this ugliness in me as well if I am honest. Nowhere near the point of hating someone or wanting someone dead, but just a real "you bug me so much I would just really like to knock you down a peg or two off your high horse" type mentality. Just having a really bad attitude towards the people in question and not wanting to not feel that way. Quite enjoying the feeling of judging them. This makes me sad that it is true, but it is true. I know that this is a root of sin that I have given a foothold in my life and so I confess it. Boyd Hopkins said that when you are not ready to let something go to ask God to make you willing. So I spent some time in prayer tonight asking God to make me truly repentant for these feelings, and truly desirous to be filled with His Holy Spirit. I have needed to confess and recieve deliverance in the area of this same relationship in the past, but old habits have sneaked back in and I find myself standing on familiar and not God honoring ground. The other people in question may have their weaknesses and faults, but that is not what this is about. If I was right with God then all would be right, no matter who they are or what they do. This is about my heart and my choosing to walk in the flesh or walk in deliverance.
Psalm 74. I completely disagreed with something in my Bible notes today. It talked about God's patience enduring for generations but at last being set aside for judgement. And how if we persist in sinning against him, don't be surprised when his patience runs out.
I totally disagree with this. I have this wonderful book called "The Daily Discipler" by Neil Anderson. He outlines all the main doctrines/teachings of the christian faith over the course of one year, 5 readings per week. One section in there outlines the personality of God and how God is 100% of the qualities that He says He is. 100% love, 100% merciful, 100% Just. What that means is that when He exercises justice is not because His patience has run out. It's because He is 100% just. There is a big difference.
I am not a patient person. This is a quality I really need to grow in.
"I knelt a long time, for I had much to offer up to God, and I placed before Him countless thoughts, so that He might winnow them like a thresher, leaving me the wheat and blowing away the chaff with the breath of His mercy."
from "I, Juan de Pareja"
This just totally resonated with me today, and was a reflection of my quiet time this morning. It warmed my heart like a cup of something steamy and delightful and just had to share.
blowing away the chaff with the breath of His mercy. *shivers*.
Jeremiah 12.
wow. not exactly uplifting reading... I think the part that spoke to me the most was;
"if racing against mere men makes you tired how will you race against horses? if you stumble adn fall on open ground what will you do in the thickets near the Jordan?"
this whole concept of being tested, learning discipline, being equipped for a race, a battle, for victory, however you want to look at it. How will we ever be prepared for the business of ruling the kingdom if we don't get stretched, tested, tried and prevail? In order to grow one must perforce experience growing pains. If we want to run with horses... animals of speed, might, glory... it's beautiful imagery.
Ezekiel 6. I am so glad for my bible notes that brings some "hope" to the darkness and doom pictured in this chapter. "A ray of light appears in this prophecy of darkness- God would spare a small group, a remnant, of people but only after they had learned some hard lessons. God sometimes has to a break a person in order to bring him or her to true repentance. The people needed to change their attitudes but they wouldn't until God broke their hearts with humiliation, pain, suffering and defeat. Does your heart long for God enough to change those areas displeasing him? Or will God have to break your heart?"
I've been there and I'm sure I'll be there again. In a place of blindness, stubborness, pride... totally not getting what humility and grace and a heart of surrender looks like. for all I know I am there right now to a certain degree. It is so hard to see the callousness and the delusion of our own hearts. Indeed the heart is deceitful above all things and the enemy knows how to put his oar in and stir up the muddy waters as well. Someone told me recently "if my being broken brings me closer to God, bring on the brokeness." Profound, frightening, inspiring truth.
Ezekiel 6: 8-10
“A ray of light appears in this prophecy of darkness – God would spare a small group – a remnant – of people, but only after they had learned some hard lessons. God sometimes has to break a person in order to bring him or her to true repentance. The people needed to change their attitudes, but only after they had learned some hard lessons. God sometimes has to break a person in order to bring him or her to true repentance. The people needed to change their attitudes, but they wouldn’t until God broke their hearts with humiliation, pain, suffering, and defeat. Does your heart long for God enough to change those areas displeasing him? Or will God have to break your heart?”
Matthew 14
One of the things that struck me was Jesus' quick response to the disciples. When they saw him walking on the water they were afraid, but he spoke to them "at once" (v.24). Peter asked to let him walk on water, and Jesus said "yes, come" (v.29), but when Peter faltered, Jesus "immediately reached out and grabbed him"(v.31) Another thing that struck me was the compassion he had on the people. He healed the sick (v.14) and fed them (v.16-21). "All who touched him were healed." (v.36)
matthew 15 notes "Seeking solitude was an important priority for Jesus. He made room in his busy schedule to be alone with the Father. Spending time with God in prayer nurtures a vital relationship with Him and equips us to meet life's challenges and struggles. Develop the discipline of spending some time alone with God. It will help you grow spiritually and become more and more like Christ."
Today is my day of solitude. My one saturday in four that I mark off on the calendar to retreat and find rest and peace in whatever ways I feel I need it. This morning that has meant sitting here in front of the window in the youth room with my bible and my coffee and time to reflect and listen and pray. This afternoon I will wander over to buy myself a bowl of wonton soup and then return to scrapbook or peruse my books or crash on the couch and watch a chick flick on my laptop. My word for 2012 came to me with force a month or so ago and there is no doubt that it is the quality I need to focus on pursuing in 2013.
Solitude. "Noun
The state or situation of being alone: an uninhabited place.
Synonyms
privacy - seclusion - isolation
beautiful words to a weary gal.
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